So, was at my doctor’s earlier this week. Just the normal female check up and all’s good on that front! But my doctor, who I’ve had for over a decade, glanced through her notes and realized she’d never gotten a Vitamin D level on me.

Well, we can fix that! So, off I traipsed to the lab three flights below and had some blood drawn. Pretty painless, even if I did have a student do it. (She did really well!)

The next day I get the call from Leslie – my doctor. “Your vitamin D levels are very low. I want you to start taking a supplement.”

A supplement? Well, a mega dose supplement. And in three months we check again. Now, I understand the need for Vitamin D. It helps the body absorb calcium and since no one wants to have rickety bones as we approach life around and after menopause, it’s important!

This is where it gets pretty nuts though. When you think about it. Once upon a time, we all lived outdoor a great deal and sunlight? Well, it helps the body with Vitamin D. (I think we absorb it through some aspect of sunlight. It’s all scientific stuff.) Then we moved indoors, but we still enjoyed getting out into the sunlight.

Then came skin cancer. And we all started using sunscreen or wearing multiple layers of clothing. So, we lost our Vitamin D connection.

Other good sources of Vitamin D? Evidently dairy products. Now, I love cheese. Really love cheese, but I gave it up for the most part as the battle of the bulge became more important than my love of cheese. Same thing with ice cream. (I’ve never been a huge milk fan, but even when I did drink milk, it was fat free.)

Because diabetes and heart disease runs in my family.

Sometimes, you can’t win for losing (…though I’m not terribly certain how the phrase works…) I tend to my weight and give up most dairy, because so much fat is in dairy. I don’t suntan because who needs skin spots?

My reward? A vitamin D count of 17. Evidently, the norm is around 50. (I know it can’t all be blamed on what I eat or don’t eat, or how much sun I get. I mean, I’m horrible with sunscreen and I walk my dog twice a day…face bare to the sky.) (I guess it isn’t enough.)

It seems that when one does one thing that is good for you, you get wacked by another thing. Such is life! At least I can take pills to help me boost my Vitamin D and that is better than skin cancer, or dealing with more heart difficulties.

And yes, I’ve had heart difficulties but it was electrical, not…not the rest of the long list of things that plague the heart. I take my cholesterol meds, I don’t eat bacon…or cheese…sigh.

What is next? They’ll discover that not eating bacon causes a deficiency of something else? Oh, and I’m getting a bone density test next week…who knows what that will reveal!

Husbands can be a real pain in the ass. Especially when it comes to when they aren’t feeling particularly well. Granted, waking up with a swollen, oozing right eye would put most men in a bad moood.

Mine?

Cranky pants. Sure, it freaked me out and so I insisted on taking him to the urgent care and sticking with him (correcting the info he was giving the doctor because my man? He is a hyperbole spouting maniac when he’s not feeling top a’ the world.) (Actually, he’s like that most of the time.)

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, sticking with him as the doctor peers into his eyes, lifts his eyelid, puts in this bright yellow gunk, shines a light, washes the eye ball…and makes an appointment with an eye specialist for him.

We had time to go have lunch and walk the dog. Then back to the new eye doctor.

Wow, what a day!

Result…something foreign got into his eye last night. And his eye didn’t like it. It repelled the invader but still wasn’t happy about said invader being there, so it threw an allergic fit. He has eyedrops and was told to change his pillowcase, towel, washcloth… (all things I do regularly and don’t tell me I should do his also! He’s an adult, and he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.)

Okay, I may be a bit cranky, too.

My Thursday…what a day!

Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Pirates and Scalagwags! Welcome to the Greatest Show In Tortuga!

The Pirate Circus!

Look to the yardarm! There our daredevil Felix balances upon the lines, juggling three cannon balls! Without a net! And now Johnson tosses him a fourth! And a fifth! And…dear. Well, we have many jugglers!

*Clean that up lads, and bring out Leona and the Dancing Bear!

Looks nervous

*What do you mean, you can’t find Leona? Oh, you found part of her? Oh. A shame, but at least the food bill for Boris will be smaller this month…

Clears throat

Ladies and Gentleman! We have jugglers – not as many as we used to have – but we have jugglers! We have a trained bear – not as trained as we thought… We have six chatty parrots.

What? Five?

Rolls eyes

We have pirates on unicycles, monkeys that will charm you – What? Arrested for picking pockets…

Ringmaster stalks off the stage…

Yeah, times are hard for the pirate circus, but don’t blame them…it’s the new Admiral. There is something hinky about Germante, not to mention that black panther who seems inordinately fond of cats. (Not in a good way.)

But Tortuga will weather through! And with the release of The Pirate Circus, I can tell the story of Janey and her pursuit of the newest Silvestri in town, Benjamin. Late of England, this engaging but reserved man arrives with skills that his uncle, Captain Alan Silvestri, treasures. But have no fear, the cursed pirate wouldn’t abuse his nephew.

But there are other questions beggin’ ta be answered!

Will Janey succeed in convincing Ben that pirating isn’t an evil profession?

Will Ben’s little boy, Charlie, make friends with the young kraken in the bay and escape the ghost haunting him?

Will Lee, Ben’s niece, find someone of her own…or will Germante make all her dreams come true and correct God’s mistake?

You’ll have to read to find out!

Bosun Janey knows who and what she is. A pirate. And a damned good one at that. Living a life of excitement, adventure, and sailing the seas of the Kraken’s Caribbean is enough for her. But when the Quill is stuck in dry dock, Janey is left to search for distraction along Tortuga’s waterfront. How does a pirate occupy herself? Certainly not by making friends with a six-year-old boy or mooning after the boy’s father. That’s not how a pirate behaves!

Widower Benjamin Silvestri arrived in Tortuga seeking a fresh start. At first, the pirate haven doesn’t seem like a safe sanctuary for second chances, but life is full of surprises. The sun breathes life into his little boy, and new freedoms help his errant niece embrace her true nature. And then there’s Janey. A pirate and most unconventional woman, she stirs feelings in Benjamin that are far from proper.

But who’s to say what is proper in Tortuga? Before he and Janey can explore the possibilities, Benjamin’s son and niece disappear onto the high seas. Together, the couple set out to rescue them—because only a loving father and a cut-throat pirate stand a chance against the dangers of The Pirate Circus. 

The  newest addition to the world of the Kraken’s Caribbean is dedicated to the Bosun of the Romance Writers Revenge, Terri Osburn. Who I hope will recognize herself and forgive me any freedoms with her person. And I hope she finds a Benjamin of her own!

The Pirate Circus is available today from Decadent Publishing and other fine e-retail establishments!

What daring circus act would you bring to the famed Pirate Circus? I’ll give away a copy of the book to one lucky comment! (Be sure to leave me yer e-mail addy!)

Okay, crew and loyal readers! I’m working on some shorts I’ll be posting her on the website…exploring the background of the Kraken’s Caribbean…and I’m looking for pirates. Good and bad…

I also want merchants, time travelers… I’m not picky!

Interested?

I want…

1) a name… pirate or whatever fits the character

2) be this person good or evil?

3) be this person a traveler from other worlds or time, or a resident?

4) what does this person do?

Pirate? Merchant? Tourist?

Let’s have fun with this… I’ll get to work on the story…and there will be more than one. First one will go up on Valentine’s Day…whether it be a love story or not!

Come on, help me populate Tortuga! You’ll get credit…!

I play a fool in cyberspace. On FB, I’ll make wry comments and relate how I wandered all day with a shirt on inside out. I’ll babble on blogs about how muddled my head is, reveling in the chaos.

I am fearless with a keyboard.

Not so much in real life.

One of the things I hope to work on this year is the willingness to risk embarrassing myself in public, or appearing the fool.

Yes, I wear a pirate hat to conventions without a blink. I mean, that is my writer persona and it’s all about promotion.

And I look good in that hat!

And the purple pirate style coat.

Yes, it’s actually easier to play the ‘touched’ with a pirate hat on.

Something about the corners?

I have no idea. But perhaps any actors out there can relate. Put on a mask and you can dance the fandango without fear. Perhaps that is it.

But! In real life, I fret about looking a fool, falling on my face, being thought a total geek.

In October, I was at a convention on the east coast with a load of RWA friends. Moonlight&Magnolias. Those ladies do know how to party. Once the dance music came on after the awards dinner, it was a rush to the dance floor and the boogied all night.

I didn’t.

Sigh.

I wanted to, sorta. But I let my inner staid and proper nanny keep me to my chair, watching. And sometimes swaying. (It’s not that I can’t dance… I just…well…not sure what goes on in my head. Suffice to say, I didn’t dance. Not once.)

Not this year! This year, when I’m at the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention, in Chicago, in April and the music starts to play after the dinner…I’m gonna dance! With or without my pirate hat.

If you see me, haul me to my feet and don’t let me say no.

What do you fear looking a fool about?

Ken, you won the ornament! Send me yer shipping address and I’ll get her in the mail ASAP!

Brought to you by the Kraken Chronicles, all the news Tortuga finds fit to print!

 Holidays on Tortuga are not for the faint of heart! The competition to outshine each other at the big pirate ball, deep inside the Tortuga Grotto, is fierce. Pirates vie for the shiniest jewels, the most elaborate fabrics, the biggest feathers, blackest boots…it’s a sight to see!

In honor of the next few weeks, when the pirates are scavenging the seas, digging up their treasures…and the merchants are praying their cargo makes it so they can actually sell to the pirates. (Because once the ship reaches the harbor, pirates won’t raid it, there be honor among the residents!)

Where was I?

Oh, I’m having a contest for the next three weeks…and I’m giving away this beautiful kraken ornament!

All you have to do to win?

1)     Leave a comment for one entry.

2)     Like my author page on Facebook for another.

3)     Follow me on Twitter for another.

4)     Sign up for my newsletter for another. (See that sign up, over there? On the right, just under the books?)

5)     Comment on any blog I’m visiting during the next three weeks and mention the kraken for another. Where will I be?
December 2, I’m at the Romance Writers Revenge, as 2^nd Chance
December 5, I’m at The Romance Reviews
December 9, I’m at the Romance Writers Revenge, as 2^nd Chance
December 11, I’m at Dirty Birdies
December 13, I’m at Jessica Subject’s Mark of the Stars Blog
December 16, I’m at the Romance Writers Revenge, as 2^nd Chance
December 21, I’m on the 30 Days of Decadence

Wow! Eleven chances! And yes, I’ll trust you to tell me you liked my FB page, follow me on Twitter, etc. I’m a trusting sort!

Now, if you live outside the continental USA…sorry, I’ll be sending you an amazon gift certificate.

Now and then, during the next three weeks, I’ll pick someone to win a book… Yup, it’s the twenty one days to the Pirate Ball!

Now, tell me what color is your kraken?

Don’t forget to leave your e-mail addy!

Let’s eavesdrop on Emily and Bosun Janey as they discuss the portals which bring the strange and unusual to the shores of Tortuga…

The Chameleon Goggles excerpt

“… I’m slowly getting used to spotting odd things out on the street. The portals apparently have no filters.” Emily contemplated the man she’d seen riding a unicycle earlier. That was strange!

“Course they do. Machine guns don’t slide through. Or flame throwers. They actually do a good job of keeping the arms race down to something basic.” Janey shuddered. “Imagine a grenade launcher or a laser rifle in the Caribbean of the 1690s!”

“They had laser rifles where you came from?” Emily considered the congenial bosun. Janey must come from a more advanced world than hers. The thought gave her ego a good shove overboard. Emily shook her head. She knew better than to make assumptions about anything in the Kraken’s Caribbean.

“Yeah, very basic, but in production. The world had begun hurtling to hell by the time I found a portal and slipped through.” Janey grinned, lifting an eyebrow. “Much prefer the way things are here!”

“Yeah.” Emily directed her eyes out to the sparkling water of the bay, thinking about her new husband. “Me, too. I do see things on the streets that I don’t recognize. One of the clerks at the mercantile opened what I thought was an umbrella and instead, it spun yarn. At least, I think it was yarn. You’re right. No weapons. Maybe that’s why the zeppelin disappeared.”

“Ah, it may have carried missiles or something nastier.” Janey nodded. “That would bother Jezzie. She likes things the way they are.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t mind a pizzeria opening up on the main street. Or a Baskin Robbins for ice cream!” Emily rolled her eyes upward and licked her lips.

“Oh, shit. Me, too!” Janey agreed and changed the subject to things they’d fancy showing up on Tortuga’s streets.

——————————————–

Ice cream? I think Emily has a great idea. And pizza! I may have to see about making those additions to the Tortuga Chambarrr of Commerce…

So, what do you want to see for sale on Tortuga? I have a lot of empty buildings and the Kraken Chronicles is willing to put up advertising for pretty much anything!

I have a good friend who is a tattoo artist and made her my test subject, with her permission. Together we designed a business sign for her new Tortugan tattoo shop. See?

What is already there? A hat shop. A tattoo shop. A better than a dive, The Raven. A party bar, The Barmy Cock. Blessings House of Pleasure is all about spending the night with a likely lass or lad… Come on, folks…

Every month, I’ll feature a new business in the newsletter. The Kraken Chronicle… Haven’t seen the newsletter? Well, check it out!

And start making suggestions! The next newsletter comes out on the 21of December. I’ll make a list and do my best to use ‘em all!

I’m still in search of a new machine, but hope to bring a new one home before Thanksgiving. Right now I’m bouncing between a Janome MyStyle 100 and a Babylock Molly… Planning a trip to the store with fabric swatches in hand to practice… Meanwhile, class is over and I’m working some smaller projects.

I’m working on a shrug for a friend, handsewing the edges until I get the actual new machine. My old one would make hash of this project.

And! The terribly offensive zipper is gone from the plaid pirate coat! My Mom and I worked together to remove the zipper – bad, bad zipper – and it’s now replaced with nice little hooks!

And don’t it look great!

 Yup, I will be the toast of the RT Scottish Fairy Court, as I pay homage to the royals by replacing my purple pirate coat with this one.

For the night.

Maybe once or twice during the conference.

Now, I have a scrap of the fabric and I’m off next week to search out the perfect fabric to make matching pantaloons for it!

We’re shopping for a new vehicle. The wondervan, Inferno Red, btw…is dying. It’s slow, but inevitable. We’ve had it for 10 years and it has over 125,000 miles on it, a few inches of dog hair in the back and it hates cold mornings. (California coastal cold mornings, which are nothing compared to the rest of the county, so you can see how fragile she’s become.)

Been a good minivan! The smallest of the Caravans, crank windows, only one bench seat…I hate to see her go. But it’s time.

Bonnie, the dog, will miss her. It’s her kennel away from home.

So, we started looking. Now, if money weren’t an issue, I’d probably go for a lime green Kia Soul. I mean, that is a car company that knows colors! But, we need more cargo space so we’re looking a compact truck.

Probably a Ford Ranger with a camping shell so we have a place for Bonnie’s bed, blankets, toys, water bowl, treats, leashes… (I like her comfy when I’m in Starbucks working on the latest literary masterpiece.) (Writing, not reading.) We want one of this year models, before the normal sized cabs become extinct.

What are our color selections? White. Black. Silver/Grey. Two shades of red. Blue.

Whoop.

I seriously wonder about the American car buying public. (Pardon me, it was brought to my attention that the rest of the country does good with fascinating colors…maybe this is just a California rant…)

Drive any Californian freeway. Sit at any Californian intersection. And pay attention. White. White. White. White. Black. Grey. Silver. Black. White. Black. Black. Black. White. Grey…into infinity and beyond! Rare…a red car! About as rare…a blue car! And shocker…a green one!

Then there are the Kia’s…burnt orange. Lime green… Ah, I love them!

To me, the most important aspect of a car color involves how visible it makes to me other drivers. I have no desire to drive an asphalt colored car. Or a fog colored car. Or a car that blends into twilight. Nine times out of ten, if I nearly come to blows with another car it’s because I didn’t see them. Sure, sometimes they were stupid and threw themselves in front of me…but more often, I simply didn’t see them. Because they looked just like the background!

Even worse with motorcycles.

My husband drives a Yamaha. He recently wanted to buy a new zip-on jumpsuit to wear when riding it. Now, motorcyclists deal a lot with people not seeing them. They know it’s just the nature of the ride. But why, oh why, would somebody already hard to see want to put on a black jumpsuit? Or grey?

“Hey, whooo! Look at me! I’m the color of the ROAD!”

I looked over his shoulder at the websites with jumpsuits and asked, “Yellow? Orange? RED?”

Nope. Black. Grey. Silver.

I want to paint his bike bright yellow, with lime green polka dots or something.

Same thing with my cars. If I had my way, there would be big designs all over my hood, my doors, my trunk… SEE ME!

Sigh.

I don’t get it. Why are we so boring with our car colors? Safety aside, we choose white? Black? Grey/Silver? Gods, we are so BORING!

Really, next time you park in any parking lot, take a moment to look around…a sea of blah. Why can’t we be more entertaining with our car colors? Are we so scared of being noticed?