Okay, I’m hoping I can do justice to this week. So, you see…five years ago I went to bed, not feeling terribly well and woke up three days later in the hospital. Seems I’d fallen asleep and my heart sped up, lost rhythm and then stopped.
My husband, attentive man that he is, noticed and started CPR. Most people to whom this sort of episode happen, especially if in bed, don’t survive.
I did. Now, five years later…I have an interior cardio defibrillator, a sort of personal emergency medical technical device that lives in my chest, with leads directly in my heart. It keeps track of what is going on and if my heart goes dicey again, it will deliver a shock, saving my life.
Modern medicine is phenomenal, what it can do.
My life, prior to April 21, 2007, was simple. I wrote constantly. I didn’t submit, I didn’t think about publishing…I was too scared at the idea of being rejected. Funny, how that all changed after I did the tango with death.
The one year anniversary, I was at my first Romantic Times Booklovers Convention, taking a class from dear Judi McCoy. The second year, I was returning from my second Romantic Times Booklovers Convention, having taken the follow up class from Bobbi Smith and pitched to agents and editors. Got requests, too.
The third year, I was with a friend as we left our third RT, having met the woman who later became my agent. The fourth year, I was signing my first printed book.
The fifth year? A week home from my fifth RT and signing my second in print book.
I know have six titles out, two in print.
Now, modern medicine made this possible. My husband being attentive made this possible. A very good therapist made this possible.
And I made this possible.
Life wasn’t ready to let go, neither was I.
Challenges, like mine, are difficult to see as a blessing. They can be a turning point, as mine was. A kick in the ass, as mine was. A sobering thing…like mine.
How is my life different now?
Well, I am not scared of rejection anymore. Didn’t happen overnight. I am still extremely superstitious. My faith is still the same, probably stronger. (I’m a pagan.) My house is messier than it ever was, my yard was in the process of going wild…it’s now completely wild.
I woke up fast to the hunger to create and dove into stories, editing, learning my craft. Not to organize or clean.
Now, I sat across the table a few days ago with a talented young woman, with two younger children. She writes. And just discovered she may lose her sight in the next ten years.
I wasn’t sure what to say, other than to offer my experience. You never know the gifts these challenges will eventually gift us with.
I do know one thing that is very true. Sometimes, you have to let people help you. It is a gift you give to them.
And that is my wisdom for the day.
And thank you world, for letting me leave that dance and return to life.