I took charge of my depression this week. After a particularly poignant therapy session on Friday – yes, I see a therapist and I adore her and she’s been a total blessing in my life – I was given a list of actions to work on before I see her again. All about taking the first steps out of the pit of despair 2014 left me with.
I’m not saying depression is a stranger to me. Quite the contrary. More like a frequent houseguest. I live with it. I’m normally okay. But…losing my sister last year triggered a pretty deep bout.
So, it’s been 5 days and I’m doing really well with the list. 5 more days until I see her again and it looks like I will have done them all.
I started with a long overdue doctor’s appointment. Daily walks of 30 minutes duration. Drinking more water. Eating better – less carbs. She also wants me to visit the Farmer’s Market weekly. She’s a big believer in getting out and seeing the gifts from the earth. That’s the plan for later this week.
And a big one? I joined a gym! I used to belong to this gym. Used to go 5-6 times a week. Did it for about 4 years. And though my weight didn’t change all that much, I still felt better.
Walking through those doors wasn’t easy. It was scary and I was filled with the sense of hopelessness, resigned to not keeping up the personal obligation. I’d been talking about rejoining and ducking it for months. Literally.
My therapist advised me to just turn off the brain chatter and do it as if I were on autopilot. The gym was having a membership sale and I knew I didn’t want to miss it. Yesterday, I made the right turn, parked and walked in. It hadn’t changed. I took a deep breath and felt very much at home. New faces, but the layout was the same. And I knew I could do this.
Walked out with the ID on my keychain and today, I went back in and started with just time on the treadmill. It felt right.
I’m going to be okay. This year, 2015, my theme is simple. I will rediscover my self-confidence. Because in the end, that is what’s it all about.
Now, on a totally different point… I still have many sexy pirate refrigerator magnets available… Drop me a line and I’ll send you one!