I’m currently dealing with a case of the intermittent blues. Granted, I know I’m still in mourning. I really do know that. I understand that. But I wonder…why, when I’m not thinking about my sister…I still stumble into the blues pit.
There are triggers. Mild things that push the mood downward, and once I’m on the slippery slope…everything piles on.
Books stop selling…more weight to push me over.
Can’t stop eating stuff that is bad for me…more weight.
Feels like a cold is building…more weight.
No one seems to read my FB posts…more weight.
The dog hurt her shoulder…more weight.
Can’t sleep…more weight.
It’s cold…more weight.
Yeah, some things…sure…they aren’t butterflies and unicorns, but they aren’t demons and dragons either. (Evil dragons…not the good ones. Don’t beat me up… Ooops, another thing to weigh me down…)
There seems to be no rational to what will add weight. Maybe…it’s because I don’t seem to have any counter balance right now. There’s nothing on the other side of the teeter-totter.
Honestly, my life is that kid’s song… Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, Think I’ll eat some worms…
I guess, if I had to say anything it would be this…nothing is fun right now. I miss fun. I miss interacting with people who are being silly. Silly is good. I actually have a sharp sense of humor, especially online.( Online gives me time to think of witty things to say. In person, I’m more likely to be stupid silly. Online I’m witty silly.) I think…
For the most part, I hate that every little thing takes me down. Not that I’m ever starting on a mountain top.
I’m hoping to find a few mountain tops this year. In a few days, I’ll be hopping into my car and aiming southward. To attend a steampunk convention, aboard the Queen Mary. I’m not a massive steampunk player. And I am going alone, so it’s hard to say how much ‘fun’ I’ll have. But I will enjoy seeing the marvelous costumes, watching the incredible Thee Bluebeard, and the vendor room will no doubt be marvelous. (Probably get down that I can’t afford everything I see… Isn’t this really pathetic?)
I have some makeshift costume stuff, enough to not be a total standout.
But this journey through the valley of shadow can’t last…right?
So…anyone have any good jokes? Make me laugh and I’ll send you a magnet from my new swag…
BTW, Thee Bluebeard is the Master of ceremony at Her Royal Majesty’s Steampunk Symposium. He’s a friend and he’s delightfully optimistic. And he has a Facebook Page and a comic. Go friend him! Say Maureen sent you!