Where Is The Kraken?

 Kraken Contest!

New blog, new day…new CONTEST!

Today, let’s celebrate the launching of the new ship…errr….blog PiratePunk!

Okay, let’s talk… CONTEST!

A funny thing happened between my book’s journey from e-book to print book.

My Kraken tentacle disappeared. (These things happen when dealing with the real world.)

So, making the best of a sad situation, I put it to you… Where did the Kraken go?

1)      He’s in Scotland, wooing Nessie

2)      He’s outside the Mines of Moria at Gandalf’s request, fighting off the menace in the waters

3)      Sharing rum with the monster in the lake at Hogwarts

4)      ? Your best guess?

How to enter the contest?

1)      Comment here and pick an option, or create your own.

2)      Do to FB deciding it didn’t like contests posted and tracked on their site…don’t enter on FB. Like my page if you want to, it isn’t a requirement. Feel free to chat about where you think the kraken went on my FB wall… It isn’t official, but I’ll track your comment…

3)      Find me on any blog I guest at during the month of May and tell me your option. (Be sure to leave an e-mail address in the comment section.)

Prizes? 1st prize is…!

At the end of the contest, I will give away a Sony Pocket Reader.

Every now and then, I’ll pick an entry and award something interesting. Free books, pirate perch hats, kraken jewelry! Pic of perch hats

2nd Prize is a kraken parasol.

 3rd prize is a Betsy Johnson octopus ring.

Contest ends on May 31st, 2011…at midnight, Pacific Standard Time. I will announce the winner on June 1st, 2011.

Now, let’s see some options!


  1. I think the Kraken is tired from having to fight with Glacious for all those years and decided that he needs a vacation. On top of that spending all that time watching Alan and Emily has made him very lonely. So he has go to Scotland to woo Nessie. After all what could be more different from his own Caribbean than the waters around and in Scotland? Plus he can use the tales of his home to help woo Nessie. Not sure exactly how that ones gonna work. *shrug* what with the species barrier and all. But he is The Kraken so I’m sure he will find a way around it.

    Also do I need to post this in all three places mentioned above? or just one?

    Thanks for the contest
    (the computer decided to not let me post this the first time I tried so I am trying again and hoping it doesn’t appear twice. If it does please delete this one as I like the first one better)

  2. Looks good, AimeeKay… This counts as one entry. You can enter again with the other sites. And I like your idea. He likely is a bit lonely, I just hope if he’s with Nessie, she’s being good to him!

    Thanks for entering!

  3. Ha computer pulled it’s little disappearing post trick again. was going to post a comment about the Kraken stealing posts because he doesn’t want anyone to know where he is, and it did its dissappearing trick again! See confirmation that I am right! 🙂

  4. The Kracken was hiding in plain sight. He blended in quite nicely wearing a facinator hat at the royal wedding.Trying to make a fashion statement, he realized it was more than women’s hats he liked to try on.He especially had fun hob nobbing with Sir Elton John and his main squeeze, although he became a little uncomfortable when David Furnish started giving him the eye, if you know what I mean.
    Later, at the Royal Palace ,he could be seen making out with Keith Richards, who thought he was just another groupie from one of his tours crashing the Royal wedding after party. Afterwards, quite embarrased at his indescretion,{he had too much of Harry’s “special punch,”} he decided to hitch a ride with the Beckhams and give Victoria some advice on her fashoin line for which she was quite thankful. Growing weary of hanging with the Royals and running from the paparazzi after his facinator disquise fell off, he realized there was no place like home.With his luggage full of gifts {pink panties and bras for him and Mrs. Kracken} he hitched a ride on the next train out. Little did he know his picture was all over the National Enquire with his tentacle coping a feel of Camilla’s tush as he danced with her. He was going to have some explaining to do.

  5. He’s down at the Boom Boom Beauty Bar and the girls are cleaning out his suction cups and filing off his barnacles. He really likes the paraffin dip.

  6. We’re romance writers. I LIKE to think he’s wooing Nessie.

  7. Debra – Love it! Think that might have been one of his kids posing as a hat..?
    Sharon – I want to visit the Boom Boom Beauty bar!
    JM – True, very, very true!

  8. The Kraken is downing rum and cokes in a village tavern near the Lake of Michigan with ex-governor, Ron Balgojevich ,and his wife, Patti.

  9. I think he must be …
    sharing rum with the monster in the lake at Hogwarts. Of course, I love all things HP, too!

  10. Hey Maureen!

    GOOD QUESTION! Where did that wily Kraken go? I could have sworn I saw him over at the Bandit Lair scoping out our dragon Ermingarde! Personally, I’d love to see a little romance between those two. Poor Ermingarde gets lonely up there in her weir, and the dear soul is so near-sighted she probably won’t notice that the Kraken is NOT a dragon.



  11. Hmmm. While the Kraken is fine, fine specimen of cephalopodian masculinity, I think he’s too busy for romance. What with every other movie monster, alien, villain, etc., sporting tentacles, he’s booked solid doing the hand model, I mean, tentacle model thing.

  12. Sherry – Hmmmm…popular option! 😉

    Amy – Yup! It’s a theory on the Revenge that he’s helping the lake monster recover from a bad love affaire… 😉

    Auntie! – You know, cephalopods are masters of camoflauge, I bet he could help Ermingarde and she’d never know he wasn’t a simple water dragon…

    P. Kirby – Good possibility there…I think he has lovely tentacles and could certainly stay busy in Hollywood…long as he stays away from that movie you just reviewed on your webstie!

  13. http://www.rao-osan.com/osan-info/offbase/slide-shows/2010-fest/17.jpg
    Based on the picture above, I think the Kraken is paying a visit to the area known as South Korea to dole out vengeance on those who regularly eat his brethren. He’s taking out boats and making it look like North Korea did it, so the 2 countries will be too busy blowing each other up to eat any more kraken cousins…

  14. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The horror! The horror!

    He’s wiley, it’s possible…

    Off to wash out my eyes for all those poor…kraken!

  15. I think when they printed the book, they printed the kraken on invisible paper.

  16. Tami – Ah…so he’s really there, just not visible!? I can dig that idea. As long as his awesomeness is present when needed! 😉

  17. So, I’ve thought of other possibilities.

    Maybe the woman on the front has challenged him to a duel. But having the general consistency of Jello requires he get some serious practice at the shooting range. It’s difficult, after all, for the tentacled to handle a pistol.

    Now if he could only find someone to act as his second….

  18. He’s wooing his new love interest, fell in love with her at the spa when he was getting his suction cups cleaned out. Posted her pic http://www.facebook.com/pages/Maureen-O-Betita-Author/155907664465540

    Thank you, this is a fun contest!

  19. The Kraken and a super model…it’s the end of the world!

  20. The Kraken is having sushi with with Ursula the sea witch. Of course, Davy Jone’s is turning over in his locker about this!

  21. Soooooo….the Kraken is a cannibal?

    Wow, this makes me uncomfortable! 😉

  22. Okay.
    He told me not to say anything, but I really want that Betsy Johnson ring.
    Sigh. I’m selling him out for jewelry.
    The Kraken has been with me at the tattoo shop. He’s always found tattoos fascinating and given his artistic nature, he decided to do an apprenticeship with me.
    Now, he’s not that good *yet* but he has a ton of potential and is a very fast learner.
    And with all his tentacles, he will be able to do four times the work that a normal tattoo artist can manage.
    And I’m pretty sure his specialty will be realistic portraits of underwater life.

  23. Damn! He’d be so good at this! I may never see him again! I hope he isn’t leaving too much slime behind…

  24. I’m pretty sure the kraken spotted a giant squid and is engaged in a fight to the death.
    Or maybe he just got hungry or something. A big creature like that has to eat, you know.

  25. Samantha – Must be a family dispute… Aye, being a Kraken is hungry work and woe betide the cousin who cuts in line at the buffet! BWHA HA HA!

  26. I know where he is! Sharing rum…. not with the monster in the lake at Hogwarts, but with *me*! You know, he likes rum as much as he likes to talk. In fact he was just telling me about his many attempts to win Nessie’s heart, but without success.
    Poor soul, he was so desperate he agreed to help Gandalf fight off the menace in the waters outside the Mines of Moria, hoping to meet his death.
    Fourtunately (or unfortunately, from a different point of view) his suicide attempt failed, and I am now trying to comfort him and acting as matchmaker… BTW do you have anyone in mind? 😛

    Giada M.

    fabgiada (at) gmail (dot) com

  27. Sigh. I had hopes that Nessie would be the answer… I wonder if the Venusian 50 Fathoms Beast is available again?

  28. Pingback: Romance Writer's Revenge » Blog Archive » Comment of the Week and more Kraken Contest Stuff

  29. One day at the beach, I saw an UFO coming down and slowing lifting him out of the ocean with a bright green beam. He was fighting it, but they were winning. They put him in their ship which bowed a little from the added weight, but then sped off and vanished. I’ve heard since that they are worshiping him on their home planet where littler Kraken live, and that they are working on making a constellation in the sky for him so that none of us will ever forget his majesty.

    -Colleen, colleenbeilke@gmail.com

  30. Eeek! This has happened before! They think he’s Cthulhu! Hope they don’t spoil him too bad… He’s needed back in the Caribbean!

  31. Amanda Woodward

    Maureen I am very upset today I received a call from my daughters teachers informing me that my daughter and the rest of her class will be retaking finals. Apparently multiple arms are good for multiple tests. The children paid in fish, and hid him out in the indoor heated pool….. We parents are attemptung to get a present location for the delinquent Kraken I will keep you updated……

  32. I knew that calamari at dinner last night was a little pale…

  33. Nooooooo!

    Sigh. I bet he shed a tentacle and they found it and served it up…

    I hope!

  34. Update!

    After my last comment about him working as a tattoo artist, the Kraken quit. No notice or anything! He just threw down his tattoo machines and slithered out the door.

    So much for me winning that Betsy Johnson ring.

    Now, not only do I have to finish the pieces he started, I have to figure out a way to scrub the slime off the walls.

    Guess that will teach me to talk about him behind his back.

    And if you see him, could you please tell him he owes me $140 for supplies?

  35. Oh, sure. I’ll collect his debt for you!

    With that many appendages, you know he’ll pay with one and lift your wallet with the other!

    I hope he’s learning something from all the kraking about!

  36. Alas, the kraken was captured by the dread pirate Roberts, chopped up into little bits and fed to the crew.

    In a strange twist of fate for the unfortunate pirates, your particular kraken has the regenerative properties of a common earthworm, and currently, in the bellies of a great many pirates, more krakens are growing from the bits they have eaten. Soon you will have an entire army of octopedes to command for future books.

    Congratulations, you’re the new and better-looking Octo-Mom 😛

  37. Seleste – Gee. I want to feel sorry for the Dread Pirate Roberst and his crew…but NOT!

    One shouldn’t just cut up and eat another’s important cover model!

    I’ll have to think up a wonderful challenge for the new octo-army… Hmmmmm!

  38. I think the Kraken is hiding out in the Caribbean, waiting to take another crack at Jack Sparrow. Oops,that’s Captain Jack Sparrow!

  39. The Kraken is laying low for awhile to plan for an appearance since April Fools Day and May Day are gone this year if you go by pagan calendars. He’s got an idea that involves kilts and furry purses and possibly bagpipes playing when crashing his next funeral like the Irish. But he’s Scottish and knows how to celebrate with a shield and a folk dance with swords. He’s trying to decide which sash is most becoming along with the gold chains and watch on a fob. Let me know when you see him again because I’m looking for his presence at my next event.

  40. I posted this on your FB page, but thought others here might enjoy it too.
    I may have found it…
    Ah your missing kraken has been spotted off of Guam. Lounging in the old PT bombing holes, south side of the island. I recently acquired these heart warming shots of the new mother sending her scads of children off into the dark seas, like a million tiny stars. Was this elusive kraken of yours???
    (I think you will appreciate the way your kraken comes into the video…first a teasing tentacle appears… It does look familiar…perhaps from the cover of a book???)

  41. Since I could use a drink about now, I say that your Kraken is sharing rum with the monster in the lake at Hogwarts.

  42. Margay – I bet the kraken would win that drink contest!

    Sunnymay – The kraken in a kilt…sounds like the name of a scottish rock band! 😉

    Pam – So, mayhaps this is the elusive Mrs. Kraken and he’s there somewhere, ready to rush in a wipe her brow or help her with the breathing!

    Joder – You know that the kraken only drinks Kraken Spiced Rum? I hope the Hogwarts monster can handle it! And you! 😉

  43. Margaret Sholders

    He heard so much about NYC that he wanted to visit the Big Apple. He swam up the Hudson River and now he is stuck there. Poor Kraken!

  44. Amanda Woodward

    He is carrying my bags today I have a Bbq a birthday party and a dinner to plan and shop for so I bribed him.

  45. Like many of us, the Kraken was feeling the pinch of a sluggish economy, and he decided that he needed to get a second job. He went to the local newspaper, seeking a pressman position, because he had experience slinging ink. There, he learned that print is dead, because more people are getting their news and coupons online. So, the Kraken acquired a Sony eReader and started using it to read the want ads.

    After a few days of job hunting, the Kraken was hired as a barista for an upscale coffee bar and internet café. When he wasn’t pouring double half caff lattecinos, he was learning about this wondrous tool called the world wide web. He set up an email account and soon found himself inundated with wonderful opportunities.

    The Kraken studied all the offers and finally, one particular story really tugged on his heartstrings. He knew he had to help this poor widow escape from Nigeria to freedom in America, and if she chose to reward his goodheartedness monetarily, well, who was he to refuse her the chance to give back.

    He carefully followed the widow’s instructions about the wire transfer of funds, then he scurried to the airport to await her arrival.

    Days later, he was still waiting, and an airport staff member asked if he was all right. The Kraken told his story, expecting to be given hope or at least sympathy. Instead, the airport staff member just laughed hysterically and kept saying, “Sucker!” over and over again.

    Sadly, the Kraken trudged away, never knowing what the staff member found so funny about his tentacles.

    Get it? Sucker? “Cause he’s an octopus and he has suckers on his tentacles and also he fell for a common scam?! Hardy har har.


  46. I believe he’s in Scotland, wooing Nessie. When he caught a glimpse of Nessie, it was love at first sight.

  47. I ran into him and he told me he was going to a big glove sale at Macy’s- buy 2 pair, get 2 pair free. I could see that he didn’t have any money on him (or in him either), so when he begged me to go with him because of my flair for fashion, I knew he just wanted me to pay for the gloves, so I told him to stop being such a suck-up and I left. He’s tried to put the squeeze on me before but I’m older & wiser now and I can see right through him.

  48. Margaret – I hope he doesn’t get all handsy with Lady Liberty!

    Amanda – Bar be que? Tell him to bring me some!

    Auriette – He can be so nieve! I warned him about the internet! Sucker… *groan!

    Gayle – He lured Nessie to the Caribbean once…whole lot of traumatized sailors saw stuff they still tell tails of!

    Hannah – Last time, he tried to fit a tentacle in every finger! It was such a tangled mess! 😉

  49. I think he’s in Scotland wooing Nessie – everyone needs some love in their life!

  50. The Kraken was captured by a mermaid and his is now her pet. She named him FishyPoo and is making him wear weird pink clothes. The poor Kraken is not happy at all.

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